Last Wednesday we had the pleasure of hearing Jello Biafra do his spoken-word performance at the Granada Theater, in Dallas (thanks to the Granada for these pics). If you don’t know who he is, click the link above.

We got to the Granada nice and early. Its a great venue, where you can sit down at a table, order some food and drinks, and relax. Yes – I’m officially old. I don’t wanna stand up in a crowd of sweaty humanoids for 3 or 4 hours to hear a speaker or a band. So anyway — killer venue.

OK, since we were there early we needed something to keep us busy, so we played stereotype bingo, seeing who could spot all the great alternative culture stereotypes who walked in. Fat girl with “sexy” shirt and lots of tattoos — Check! Guy with red mohawk? Check! Guy with “the Exploited” shirt? Check! Bowser (from Sha-na-na) lookalike? Check! Doughy gay guy with “ironic” 1980s t-shirt (in this case an Asia t-tshirt) – check! Old guy with new Alternative Tentacles t-shirt – check!

Plainly dressed aging skateboarder trying to hold on to his youth – check! Wait — that’s me! Damn, damn, damn! I too am a stereotype.

Jello entered dressed as Justice Jello, and proceeded to read the riot act. But we were really lucky, since the day before Jerry Falwell died! Imagine the luck of seeing Jello Biafra the day after Jerry Falwell keels over and croaks! Whooooo-haaaaa! So Jello opened his judicial robe, raised his arms and praised the “Lard” that we are finally rid of Falwell.

Jello talked for 3 hours on subjects ranging from the war in Iraq, the insanity and absurdity of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Enron, Bush, the war on terror, etc, etc. The evil that is Dick Cheney. He even worked in Oprah Winfrey, comparing her monthly image on the cover of her magazine to the ego of Kim Jong Il, calling her the “Dear Leader”. bwaaahahahahah! Interesting, funny, and engaging. I can’t imagine doing this for a living. 3 hours is a long time, and he really keeps the energy level high.

But don’t think he only picked on the republicans. He did a great story about getting junk mail from Hillary Clinton, and discussed the various democrats who have voted for horrible legislation like the Patriot Act. We were rolling!

After three hours he took a break and was going to come back and talk about what we can do to combat the insane things going on, but alas we had to go. We needed more than 3 hours sleep that night! Boy, it stinks sometime to be a responsible adult!

Well, if you are interested in punk rock, progressive politics, punk politics, the Green Party, etc., you should check out some of Jello’s spoken-word recordings, available on his record label, Alternative Tentacles, and if you get the chance go see him in person. Its a killer, cool experience.