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The Honor of Teaching Older Students

For the last 4 months I have been the co-lead instructor of our aikido dojo, and the dojo-cho (person who runs the dojo).

The pandemic was rough on us. We lost most of our students during the months we couldn’t practice. People understandably moved on to other things. No regrets at all for shutting down during the worst of those pandemic months. We probably save some people from being hospitalized.

So now we practice at a local recreation center, and we are an official class offered by that rec center, for about $60 a month. Being in a rec center attracts a different kind of student. We get a lot of people who just want to see what it’s all about. They stick around for a month and we never see them again. That’s fine. We get fewer people who are martial arts fanatics, which is really good. We need people who jump from art to art to art. Honestly, I’d prefer we just have normal, average people who want to study aikido. That’s it. We’re not training people for the Octagon.

We have two students who are up there in age. One is 68, the other I think 73. They have been practicing with us a year now.

As I personally approach retirement in just a few months, and as I also enter the last “chapter” of my life, I’ve become very guarded about how I spend my time. I put a lot of thought into what I’m doing. Those remaining hours of relatively healthy life are valuable, because at almost 62 right now, even if I lived to be 80 and I was healthy for most of it, I know it will feel like the time just flew by.

Now, I have to admit that I have felt some frustration with our new students. The two older guys are good guys. One of them is learning. The other, well, I feel like he might have had a stroke at some point because I can’t tell that he is learning anything. And we almost always have a teen boy in class who is just has no relationship with his own body. Very hard to teach. It stretches my patience as an instructor, but I understand that is part of it. I believe that aikido is for everyone, and now is the time to prove it.

What I have come to realize this week is this: Those older guys — they are choosing to spend the valuable and precious remaining time in their life practicing with us, and being taught by us. 

When I think of it in those terms, which I did for the first time yesterday, it is a bit overwhelming. They are HONORING us with their time. They are honoring me by being my students. That time they are using – it is beyond precious. Like all our time on earth, it is really the most valuable thing we have, and we can’t save it, stop it, or get any replays.

So I feel re-energized, and I will do the best I can to teach them well.

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New Books and More Overthinking

The last few years I’ve been reading a lot of science fiction. Actually, that’s all I’ve been reading. It’s a long story, but boils down to “I like science fiction.”

I’ve done most of this reading on my Kindle. The Kindle has made it very easy to find a lot of hard-to-find old SF paperbacks. When I say easy, I mean you see it and click, and BOOM it is on the Kindle. I also like reading on the Kindle. It’s a very nice reading experience. Being able to control the font size not only makes it easier on my eyes, but I feel that I read more efficiently on the Kindle, as I don’t lose my place on the page so much.

In short – I like the Kindle. Yes, Amazon is a big evil company. Also yes, they made it a lot easier to live during the pandemic. Also yes, you gotta pick your battles in this life. For me that means I’m going to buy books on my Kindle, even though I “don’t really own them” because the reading experience is – just – superior for me.

HOWEVER. A Barnes & Noble bookstore opened in our neighborhood a couple of years ago, in what has been a semi-down-and-out shopping center. Seeing that space filled with a nice bookstore fills me with such hope for the future. A book store! Not a fucking vape shop or other dirtbaggery. BOOKS.

So as you might be able to tell, I support this. Would I love to have some cool independent book store in that space? Yes. Would Like a bookstore that is more likely to survive than an Indy. Also yes. Would you like me to stop doing this “also yes” thing? Probably Yes. I’ll stop.

3 books on a tableThis afternoon my wife and I went over to that store and I picked up three books. Actual physical books. It has been a while since I bought a new book. I’ve ordered some used paperbacks from Amazon. Stuff not available as eBooks. I also picked up about 10 very hard to find SF paperbacks at North Texas RPG Con at the start of June. But I feel compelled to support this neighborhood book store. Not Barnes & Noble (though I have nothing against them) but THIS book store. I want it to thrive and help impart some literacy to our neighborhood. Our public library is nearby. That is also great, and I of course love the library, being a librarian myself. But the bookstore can certainly be part of the literacy ecosystem of our area. The Infrastructure of Intelligence.

I have to admit I am conflicted about the physical books. For one thing, I have sold back a hell of a lot of books to Half Price Books over the years. I did that after years of carrying boxes of books around with us every time we moved. Now, however, we have been in our house for almost 20 years. I don’t want the house to just be full of books again, but there are worse things to fill your house with.

I have, for a long time now, thought it was kinda dumb to keep big collections of stuff around the house. Collections can get out of hand. Also, when you die, the truth is no one wants all your shit. I didn’t want all the stuff in my parents house.  At the library we bet massive numbers of book donations every week, and I’d say 50% are from the collections of recently deceased people. My shit will be no different. Hell, we don’t even have kids. So maybe someone will want our very nice stereo, and may our music, but book? No. No one will want a mountain of science fiction novels. They just won’t.

But – I don’t care.

Because now I understand that people have always loved “artifacts” (as my wife, the historian, says). When you walk into our house and see our stereo, out music collection, and the music posters on the walls, they know a lot about who we are. And when we are in our house, that environment reminds us who we are. It makes us feel good. It is a physical manifestation of the joy we feel when we listen to our music.

When I walk into the little bedroom that is my computer room/gaming room/podcasting studio, you see science fiction posters on the wall. Actually, YOU probably don’t see them, because pretty much I am the only person other than my wife who goes in there. When I am in there, it makes me feel good. Our physical environments are important.

So if I want to have a bunch of books in there then goddammit I’m going to have books. Yes, when I’ve had a bunch of books in the past it gave me a little self-satisfaction to see all those books I’d read lined up neatly on the shelves. I’ve decided that’s fine too. I’m not going to win an award by not having things in my house that make me happy to look at. I don’t want the room to become a rats nest full of junk either, but a bookshelf or two full of books isn’t going to get me featured on a reality show about hoarding.

I’m even thinking about buying nice copies of my favorite books that I’ve read on my Kindle to have on the shelf. That might be 30 or 40 favorite books. Some non-SF ones too… On the Road. Zeitoun. William Gibson’s Sprawl trilogy. Signs Preceding the End of the World. Frankenstein. In Cold Blood. Invisible Man. The list goes on.

I’m not saying I’m abandoning the Kindle, but having the actual book has come to have value for me again.

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Linux Is Here

My friend David converted an old PC that could not run the current or even the not-current version of Windows into a computer that is running the current version of Fedora Linux like a champ!

Here we see the Intergalactic Headquarters of ConcreteLunch Projects.

This is not a state of the art computer. This is 10-year old tech.

  • 4x Intel Xeon CPU
  • 16 Gigs RAM
  • NVIDIA GeForce GTX 750 video card
  • Fedora Linux 44
  • KDE Plasma Desktop Edition

It runs Firefox really well, and handles 3 monitors of the following resolutions: 2k, 1080 HD, and 1600×900.

I’m not using this machine for video editing. Not even really for watching videos. It is really for writing and playing online tabletop RPGs using a Virtual Tabletop System (Roll20.net). It is snappy as hell for these uses.

I did get a wider desk to accommodate the three monitors. Still getting the layout dialed-in. I think this really demonstrates that for most uses older tech is still fine.

Non-federated social media will never be used on this computer.

3 computer monitors on a desk, in a darkened room

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Reading Practices

Been thinking a lot about my reading practice, and how to really “be a reader.” Here are some ideas I’ve been obsessing about. Obviously this is not an exhaustive list. Just some things I’ve been considering.

…but please, understand, this is not me urging anyone to read. If you don’t want to be a reader, or don’t care, or whatever, then don’t. You can still be a good person.

Maybe later this week I’ll write about why I read.

Here we go.

Your Self Image

I hear people say “I’m not a reader”. I think it is important not to visualize yourself as something you don’t want to be. If you think “I’m not a reader” that is not a great motivation.

Now, just saying “I’m a reader” doesn’t make you a reader, obviously, so I’m not saying you should do that. I’m saying if you would like to be a reader, don’t reinforce the opposite in your head — your self image.

Time

People often say they don’t have time. That’s almost a good excuse. The truth, however, is that nearly everyone can spend 30 minutes a day reading. If you spend 30 minutes a day reading, that’s 10,950 minutes a year. 182.5 hours per year. If it takes you, on average, 10 hours to read an entire book (I’m assuming books of reasonable length) that is 18 books per year.

Gonna be a bit harsh here. Would you rather spend that 182.5 hours of your precious and limited time on Earth dicking around on your phone? Gonna guess the answer is no.

Concentration

I know many of us feel like we have lost our ability to concentrate and focus on something like reading. Let’s face it, our society doesn’t exactly encourage focus and concentration.

Here’s the truth though. Most of us still can concentrate for a few minutes. You may need to redevelop your ability to focus on one task, but you can do it. You just need to actually do it. It’s usually a matter of priorities. So honestly, if you want to read a book, or books, or become a regular reader, you just have to start at some point, even if it is 5 minutes a day.

What does it even mean to “be a reader”?

I think it is pretty simple. It means you read books regularly. Probably almost very day. Look there will be days when you are sick or whatever and you don’t get any reading. But in general, I think to be a reader, obviously, you must actually read.

It doesn’t mean you read 100 books a year. Or 50. Or 20. It means you regularly read books, probably because you enjoy it.

Why would you even want to be a reader?

That’s a big question. For that matter, why do anything? In a relatively short time (on the cosmic time scale) we’all all be dead, the books will all be gone, etc etc…

So, I’m not going to answer that question. This stuff is for people who already want to be a reader.

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AI Art is Not Art

If you walked up to an artist and said “paint me a picture of this or that”, and the artist painted it, would you then say “I created this.”

Probably not.

That’s why AI art is not art, and people using AI to do their “art” are not, in fact artists.

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Things the feel rebellious now

It has never been easier to rebel against mainstream culture. Here are some ways…

  • Go for a walk with no earbuds or phone
  • Read a book with no other “media” “interacting” with you
  • Turn of all the notifications on your smart phone
  • Watch a movie on a proper TV without scrolling on your phone
  • Buy a magazine and read it
  • When you are standing in line somewhere, just stand there and breath and watch what’s going on rather than reaching for your phone
  • Refuse to us AI for anything
  • Spend a day with no social media
  • Spend a day using no computer technology
  • Sit down at your table with paper and some pencils and draw a picture on actual paper
  • Write in a journal/notebook that no one else will read
  • Go to a concert and don’t take any video or pictures – just enjoy it and your memory of it
  • Have a personal website/blog that is not connected to any social media in any way – maybe just a “reply to” email address
  • Write long-form articles on that blog rather than just a couple of lines – force people to read
  • Call someone and talk to them rather than texting

This list could just go on and on…

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AI – There is no upside for humanity

Not trying to start any discussions or arguments here. No comments here on this post.

The more I consider it, I see no upside to humanity from AI. ​

Removing the cognitive load from people’s brains will only make us stupider, more incompetent at simple tasks, lazier. This applies to every task. Use AI to write an email? Weakens you. Use AI to program a website function? Weakens your brain, atrophies your skills. Have AI summarize an article for you? Weakens your brain, which should be able to focus, read, UNDERSTAND, and summarize. Use it to brainstorm ideas for a game? Weakens your brain by offloading the creative process. And all of these things rob you of the sense of accomplishment you should experience and replace it with simply – being – a – consumer.

It’s not just a tool, like a pocket calculator. That’s like saying a dagger is the same as a nuclear bomb. It’s a bullshit argument and intellectually lazy.

Every time you let AI lift the intellectual weight you get weaker.

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LibraryThing

I’ve been using Goodreads.com for many years. I think 15 years or more. Not sure. I’ve enjoyed it. It has a lot of fun features like setting your yearly reading challenge, etc. Lots of people are on it. Lots of my friends are on it. BUT it is owned by Amazon.com, and that always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like I’m contributing to their database. Now, they are providing the service, but it’s another one of those thing where I am really the product, not the customer.

I’ve been aware of LibraryThing.com for a long time as well. I’ve investigated it in the past and found it a bit clunkier than Goodreads. As part of my never-ending quest to cut my ties with giant corporate data-mining silos I revisted LibraryThing this week and was pleased with what I saw. I was particularly delighted to fine the Who We Are page, on which we learn exactly who built it and who runs it. As it turns out, LibraryThing is run by normal people, not megacorp techbro fiends, which makes me like it even more. They used to charge a fee for full membership, but some time ago they became totally free as some of their associated software products and services began to support the whole endeavor. After reading the information on their privacy page I feel they are the side of Good, rather than Evil.

So I used the Export function in Goodreads to download my data then I imported it into LibraryThing. The first two tries I messed it up and ended up with everything in my library showing up as “currently reading”, but it offers a one-button option to delete the entire import, which I did twice before getting it right. The import worked well.

As one would expect from a company that employs librarians, LibraryThing offers a lot more options for viewing and sorting your collection.

It also offers a rich system of book discussion groups.

LibraryThing has a very different look and feel from GoodReads, but I like it.

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Humans only, please.

Saw someone online today write ” how to get the most out of an AI collaboration. ”

You don’t collaborate with an AI. It’s a bunch of chips filled with ones and zeros and programmed to guess what word should come next. Collaboration is reserved for human beings, you idiot.

This is the kind of person who falls in love with his AI girlfriend.

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Linux Cyberpunk Dreams

My friend David took an old beat to shit PC he built us a few years ago and refurbished it. Even better, he put Linux (Fedora) on it.

I haven’t had a “desktop” in a long time. Honestly, it is nice to have that tower on the floor and reclaim my the space on top of my desk.

My preference is always the Apple ecosystem and MacIntosh computers, but hell, I had this laying around and he fixed it up for free, and I’m excited to dive into a consumerist orgy of finding a 3rd monitor, a wider desk, a cool cyberpunk-looking keyboard, an Ono-Sendai Cyberspace-7 poster on the wall above this little tech-nest, and some glowing LEDs setting the proper mood when I use it to run my online Traveller RPG game and whatnot.

Thus far I am enjoying Linux. I’ve used it before, and years ago I had a Unix workstation at my desk at work (previous job). For a librarian I am pretty good on the command-line as well. What I lack these days is patience, but that is something to work on.

I’ve got all my peripherals working well, installed the Discord app, and a few other things. Over the next week I’ll get it organized as I want it, put a cool desktop image on the screens, and take care of various other details.

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the Open Web and Librarians

This morning I asked one of my much younger colleagues, a librarian, if she knew what RSS is. I was delighted to find out that she does know, and that she uses an RSS thingie to subscribe to feeds via email.

I feel like she is one of the few. I have not talked to a single colleague who knew what Fediverse is. None have known what I mean when I say the “open web” or “small web.” They are all good, smart people, but they don’t know. When I have talked about the electronic spying done via Instagram and the like most have shrugged their shoulders and don’t seem to care. Many now are young enough that they’ve never known a different world. For them there has never been any privacy.

I went to grad school at U.T. Austin, in the School of Library and Information Science, in 1994/1995. Maybe 10 or 15 years ago its name was changed to the “iSchool”. When I look at the staff now, it is full of computer science people. The school is about to become just a department in the newly created School of Computing, where no doubt they are indulging in AI bullshit. This of course makes sense, as universities tend to chase the money, and the money is in computing, AI, and fornicating in the capitalist gangbang with the humanities strapped to the top of the metaphorical pool table.

I just want people – any people – someone – to stand up and say “I am an m-f’n librarian, an ancient and honorable profession, and we will outlast this bullshit!”

We need some indieweb/openweb/HTML-writing freaks in library schools across the country!

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Walled Gardens

Crazy idea here. I’m not even close to being the first to think this. I just happened to think of it right now.

It should be illegal for public institutions to post information on walled gardens like X, Bluesky, Facebook, Instagram, etc. If someone must have an “account” to see the government information, on a for-profit site, that should be illegal, even if the account doesn’t cost money (only your privacy).